Blog Review: American Music Awards (Night of the Lyrically Dead)

The should also have been billed as the Music Botox Awards. Holy, man, if any should could make you scream for a bad disaster movie this sure did. The night started off wish good performances by Gwen Stephanie and the very hot Lennie Kravitz, but didn't anyone ever tell these people that you're not supposed to peak in the first 5 minutes? I mean really. Kelly Osbourne presented with Nick Lachey. Then the woefully untalented Jessica Simpson proved she wasn't lip synching by warpling and convulsing through that stupid T-Shirt song (while sitting, mind you, so no one could comment on the dancing) but she is SO BAAAAD! Anyway, her performance started the downward slide to the show. She was followed by some country dude and "Uncle Cracker" who is so hideous and such a bad singer I was pretty ashamed to even have heard of him, but luckily I couldn't name anything he'd done so I didn't really know if he was supposed to be a musician or a profession dufus. After that came the extremely high Diana Ross, in a beautiful dress but her eyelids looked pinned up with tacks. Then the best performance of the evening the stumbling DRUNK Anna Nicole Smith - OMB it was so embarassing. Why would they put a DRUNK on stage. Luckily none of it was lost on Jimmy Kimmel who made fun of her for the rest of the hour. My viewing ended when Rod Stewart, nicely preserved himself, started singing What a Wonderful World. First of all, it isn't and second of all who the hell told Rod his has a face for TV and a voice for classics. Sorry Rod, luv ya man, but stick to songs you can talk or yell through. This was just the first hour folks, I turned it over to Day of Destruction and it was MUCH more entertaining and had a star studded, must watch cast of Brian Dennehy, Randy Quaid and Nancy McKeon. You've only missed the build up and not the massive devastation though so you can watch for yourself Wednesday.