Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

One of my daughters, who will remain nameless, but for the sake of conversation let's call her JS, has the nerve to actually use the word "Fuck" on the blog. I am worried about this, as I find it tasteless and very disrespectful. Am I right that the blog should never have any cursing?

Sincerely yours

SS

Dear SS,

You are correct. The word FUCK is very disrespectful. FUCK is an evil word, and if your daughter keeps typing the word FUCK I am sure that she will begin to travel down a road of sin and deprivation. I mean, FUCK is such a bad word because FUCK conveys a very low intelligence. For example, if somebody came up to me and said "FUCK the FUCKING FUCKERS" I would think that because they said FUCK and especially because they said FUCK three times- FUCK the FUCKING FUCKERS that they are obviously the product of a broken home. You should tell your daughter to never say the word FUCK because FUCK is inappropriate. There are SO many better words to use in the place of FUCK like the word "fig"- now that's a nice word, a safe word, a polite word- unlike FUCK which is such a lewd word.
So keep up the good work SS- don't let your daughter say FUCK ever again! And actually- you should make sure the rest of her family members that blog also stop using FUCK because FUCK is such a bad word!

Just say FIG!

Sincerely yours,

Abby